🌼 She Burst Forth
In her own words, one mother shares her journey of longing, surrender, and unexpected joy.
I always wanted to be a mother. I think it stemmed from growing up without cousins or extended family nearby. I used to dream of having a big family, six kids, if God allowed. Being nearly seven years older than my younger brother, I practically treated him like my baby.
So when I got married, I thought, “We’ll wait a little if God allows, and then try for a baby.”
But just a few months in, something felt off. I went in for a check-up, and routine lab work led to more tests. A specialist confirmed what I feared: we would have a hard time conceiving due to health issues that had never presented before.
It took everything in me not to cry right there in the doctor’s office. I felt like a piece of me shattered. I left numb—too numb to process, to plan, to pray. I didn’t want to be angry at God. I didn’t want to doubt Him. I wanted to trust, to “walk the walk.”
I wouldn’t say I met that moment with peace. I met it with fear and tears. My waiting was filled with both hope and heartbreak. But even in that space, God met me.
"For with God nothing shall be impossible."
– Luke 1:37 (AMP)
And a sermon I heard gave me such relief: “All you have to do is believe. He will do the difficult part.”
It wasn’t a guarantee, but I knew then. God saw me. He wasn’t blind to my pain.
Still, the thoughts came: “This infertility diagnosis defines you.” But God had taught me how to fight back.
"...casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."
– 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NKJV)
My prayers changed. I started out asking for a baby. But soon I was asking for endurance. For peace. For trust.
I had to admit, out loud, “Even if I never become a mother, God is enough.”
And it scared me to say that. I worried it meant I didn’t want it badly enough, that God might not answer me. But even those thoughts had to bow to the truth.
Eventually, we started medical treatment. I wrestled with guilt, thinking, was I trying to force God’s hand? But someone reminded me:
“You can’t strong-arm God into anything. He gives life. He takes away. He decides.”
The process was exhausting: physically, emotionally, spiritually. Lab work every other day, medications, shots, strict schedules. It wore me down.
But the Word of God sustained me when fear threatened to take root.
And then one day, I took a test. Five minutes felt like forever.
And then…positive.
I was stunned. After all the doubts, all the odds stacked against us, there it was.
In early winter, I gave birth to our first child. And in that moment, something in me was born too.
A gentler version of myself re-emerged. The one who used to look at God and creation with wonder. That softness had been buried since childhood. And now, this little girl had come into the world and brought it back.
Her name means “God is merciful,” “devoted to God,” and “burst forth.”
And that’s exactly what she did.
“I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eyes see You.”
– Job 42:5 (NKJV)
I once thought just one child would be enough, but God, in His goodness, surprised me with two more.
Motherhood has changed me in every way imaginable.
It’s drawn me deeper into the heart of God.
And every day, I look at these miracles and say. He did this.
Shared with permission. The words in this post belong to the woman who lived them. Please honor her voice and her journey.
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