🌷 Interrupted, Then Held
I never imagined I’d be the mothering type. As a child, I dreamed more about wearing a wedding dress than raising a baby. I felt nervous around children—they seemed so delicate—and the idea of labor terrified me. Even after I got married, I wasn’t in a rush. I wanted to live, to travel, to do all the things without interruption.
Motherhood felt like something that would eventually happen—because that’s what you do after marriage—but I was afraid of what it would change. I worried: Would I lose my freedom? Would I ever reach my dreams?
Then, unexpectedly, I became pregnant. I cried when I saw the positive test—not just from joy, but from fear. I thought, This is too soon. My life is over.
But then I heard my baby’s heartbeat, and everything shifted. My heart softened. I prayed over my growing belly. I started preparing, even dreaming.
At our 10-week ultrasound, there was no heartbeat. It was a silent miscarriage. My body didn’t recognize the loss, so I carried that baby until the procedure. It felt like a slow, private funeral. I blamed myself. I asked God for forgiveness—for my fear, my selfishness, my timing.
Three months later, I was pregnant again. I was scared, but I trusted that if God allowed it, He would carry me through. Since then, I’ve been surprised by two more pregnancies—each one sooner than expected. And through it all, I’ve learned: this path wasn’t mine to control.
Proverbs 19:21 (AMP)
“Many plans are in a man’s mind, but it is the Lord’s purpose for him that will stand (be carried out).”
Motherhood has taught me that my joy, confidence, and peace have to come from the Lord. I used to be deeply affected by what others thought of me. Now, I pour that love into my children—and they receive it fully. Being their mother is a ministry, and I don’t take it lightly.
Colossians 3:23–24 (AMP)
“Whatever you do [whatever your task may be], work from the soul [that is, put in your very best effort], as [something done] for the Lord and not for men, knowing [with all certainty] that it is from the Lord [not from men] that you will receive the inheritance which is your [real] reward. It is the Lord Christ whom you [actually] serve.”
Don’t be afraid that a baby will interrupt your life. Children are miracles. They don’t take from you—they add to your life in ways you can’t imagine.
Psalm 139:13–14 (AMP)
“For You formed my innermost parts; You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.”
“A lot has to go right for a baby to be born.” —That’s what the doctor told me. And it’s true. Every child is a miracle.
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