🌿 Still Their Mother: A Story of Earth and Heaven
I didn’t grow up dreaming of being a mother. The desire wasn't in my heart—at least not until a few days after I found out I was pregnant with Baby A. Up to that point, motherhood felt like something distant and overwhelming.
I knew it would come someday, but I wasn’t longing for it. In fact, I was intimidated by it. How would I raise a child? How could I model Christ the “right” way? Was I even ready to teach someone about the Truth?
When I discovered I was pregnant, I went through a roller coaster of emotions. But one thing brought me joy, I was going to have a child within the covenant of marriage, in a home that loved Jesus. That wasn’t the story I came from, and it gave me hope.
I used to imagine motherhood as peaceful strolls in the park, naps with my baby, looking refreshed and put-together. Instead, I met sleepless nights, pain from a C-section, and the shocking realization that babies want their moms all the time. It stretched me more than I thought was humanly possible, caring for a newborn while recovering, running a home, and learning to function as a tired, joyful, overwhelmed version of myself.
Each of my children came as a surprise. And each one transformed me. Motherhood has been a refining journey, one that revealed God’s love to me in deeper ways. I love my children no matter what, whether they’re with me physically or have already gone ahead to heaven.
Psalm 56:8 (AMP)
“You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not recorded in Your book?”
Losing Baby S and Baby E brought me to my lowest point emotionally. The pain of loss is hard to explain. A piece of you goes missing, and yet, I am still their mother. When I thank God for my children, I include them always.
Motherhood has taught me just how much I need the Holy Spirit. My words, my actions, my presence, they matter more than I ever realized. And the closer I am to God, the more I enjoy my children and navigate each new challenge with grace. I’ve learned that His presence is my safe place. Just like my children want to be near me, even when I say nothing, I’ve found comfort in simply being with Him.
John 14:26 (AMP)
“But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and He will help you remember everything that I have told you.”
God may not be a “mom,” but He understands every part of motherhood. He is the perfect parent. His love is constant, unchanging, and always loving. I now know He enjoys my presence too.
Isaiah 49:15–16 (AMP)
“Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands.”
What do I want people to understand? I am the mother of four children. Two on Earth. Two in Heaven. They are all my blessings, in heaven and on earth.
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