The Language of Restraint and Release
He grew up between two worlds; a strict Christian household and the American culture surrounding it. His mother’s discipline and faith anchored the home, while his father’s humor and long hours shaped a quieter kind of strength.
“My mother is a stern Christian woman, devoted, disciplined, and unwavering in her values,” he writes. Expressing emotion, however, was not part of their rhythm. When he tried to share his feelings, they were often dismissed or compared, and so he learned early that silence was safer than explanation.
His siblings became his first safe space, a small circle where he could be known without judgment. Yet even there, certain emotions remained private, kept between himself and God.
Over the years, prayer became the place where he processed what words could not hold. “I’ve had honest, raw conversations with Jesus,” he says, “not just about sin, but about my complaints, frustrations, and questions.”
Culture, faith, and personality all shaped the way he learned restraint. His father never cried, even at loss, and television heroes reinforced the same lesson, that strength meant composure. But when he gave his life to Christ, he began to see emotion differently.
The Word convicted him to handle anger, thought, and speech with reverence. “If even our words and thoughts matter to God, then I want to be intentional with how I handle both people and emotions.”
For years, frustration built quietly, especially in adolescence when he felt unseen, the middle child between expectation and freedom. He remembers the unspoken messages: This is nothing. This isn’t of God.
The unspoken messages taught him not to feel, but God would later that silence through grace.
Today, he defines emotional honesty as discernment, “having a certain level of emotional intelligence and being able to adequately express and communicate how you are feeling.” He’s learned that integrity doesn’t require hiding. With his siblings, and now with the woman he loves, he’s found space to speak freely. “My mind, thoughts, and flaws are welcomed without judgment. For the first time in a long time, my heart feels safe.”
Proverbs 4:23 (AMP)
“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.”
The verse feels like a quiet echo of his story, a reminder that guarding the heart was never meant to mean suppressing it, but rather tending to it with care, honesty, and communion with God.
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