Becoming Honest
He grew up in a home where emotion was something to be managed, not shared. “As a child, I learned fast that emotions were something you kept in check,” he writes.
His father modeled discipline and hard work; his mother held the family together with endurance more than softness. Love was present, but it was practical, expressed through labor, not language.
By his teenage years, silence had become a form of armor. In his neighborhood, showing sadness or fear was seen as weakness, and weakness could get you hurt. So, he learned to swallow emotion and perfect composure. “By the time I was a young adult, I was a master at hiding how I really felt, because survival demanded it.”
Faith began to undo what the world had taught him. In prayer, he found the one place he could be unguarded. “God sees my heart even when I try to hide it,” he shares. That truth became the first door to emotional honesty. Slowly, he began learning that strength wasn’t about silence, it was about surrender.
Culture reinforced his restraint. “In Hispanic culture, especially for men, there’s this unspoken rule: be strong, be tough, don’t cry.” Church life, too, emphasized joy and praise over grief or lament. But Scripture began showing him that God invites the full range of emotion, David’s tears, Jeremiah’s lament, even Jesus’s weeping. “I’m learning to give myself permission to feel without shame,” he says
Years of withholding emotion left their mark. “It’s cost me relationships… real ones.” He recalls moments when love felt one-sided because he couldn’t let others in. With time, reflection, and grace, he’s begun dismantling those walls. “Withholding emotions doesn’t protect people; it just builds walls.”
Now, emotional honesty means presence. “It’s showing up with the truth of who I am without pretending, without masking.” It’s not easy,” he admits, “but it’s freeing. “Some days it feels safe, especially in prayer or with people I trust. Other times, the old habits kick in. Still, I believe God honors honesty
Psalm 34:18 (AMP)
“The Lord is near to the heartbroken and He saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
This verse feels like his journey made visible, a reminder that even in silence, God is close, teaching men that strength is not in concealment, but in communion.
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